In order to be true to yourself, find worth from your own inner moral compass and performance barometer i.e. self-validate. Don’t subject yourself to the ever-moving ground on which you’ll stand if you base your sense of self and worth on the opinions, words, actions and responses of others. Beware also the unnecessary pain you may inflict on yourself if you judge yourself against the prevailing social constructs. Remember, what is right in one culture or religion is oftentimes considered wrong in another. Social constructs are mind-made (often man-made) concepts. Although society will try to convince us that we are subject to these concepts irrevocably, we are – in point of fact – free to adhere to them or not. It’s important to find your own authentic, inner spiritual source – your intuition – from which you can validate your worth and judge your actions from your individually constructed perspective.
Positive self-validation can come from the way you interact with others and the way you respond to life’s challenges. Act always with dignity and integrity. I find it important to regularly remind myself not to fall into the (personality) trap of validating myself according to apparent outer world successes – professional and financial status, for example. To be authentic, my validation will come from my capacity to act with sincerity and altruism no matter how difficult my circumstances; the degree to which I’m able to gain understanding in a holistic way – from my intuition and not solely from my lower mind; my ability to bring a positive influence/energy into the lives of others notwithstanding my own trials and tribulations; my capacity to feel love and joy at the sound of bird song, or the view of a sunset, a tree in blossom i.e. my ability to step outside the microcosm of my world and see my place in the bigger picture.
Excerpt from “She Who Is Unto Herself”