Aging can also be a cause for stress. That’s been my experience anyway. It’s tempting to remain fixated on the body as it grows older, especially as our Western societies tend to give great worth to the new, the beautiful, the fresh. It’s only when the barometer swings completely over to antique that appreciation around old things seems a little more apparent! Now in my mid-40s, all the road signs are pointing to over the hill and into the abyss. It’s likely that persons I’ve known since I was a child will die soon; that I or somebody close to me will have age-related health problems; that my skin and my body will begin to sag unless I resort to artificial means, which are expensive and risky. Ok, I admit it, it’s a mid-life crisis and my views are coloured by the space I occupy between no longer being young and not yet being old. I’m having to embrace my age and learn the lesson of where my power no longer lies. It’s sometimes helpful for me to look back and see how much I’ve grow, for example, over the last decade. Between my mid-30s and mid-40s, I dredged through plenty of life crises and challenges – like we all do. My ever-present inner drive to learn the spiritual lessons from outer events has meant that I now feel more aware of life’s mechanisms as well as of my automatic responses. I feel both more detached and more engaged. I would even pluck up the courage – despite my wrinkles – to say that I wouldn’t go back to my early 30s. I was more vulnerable then, less rooted in my inner self. Life’s tough lessons have taught me that often the only haven from emotional pain and psychological stress – i.e. the only place where I can relax – is the silence and peace of the ever still inner self. By turning inwards time and time again, I can explore and deepen the inner realm; a connection that strengthens with time. So it might well be that the older I get the more successful I become at holding my centre through life’s thick and thins. In this way, age can be the vehicle for a new source of power.
Excerpt from “She Who Is Unto Herself”.