The people who hurt or disappoint us are our greatest teachers. They enable us to grow at a spiritual level more deeply, or more rapidly. In this sense, although it might be a tall order, it could be said that we should be grateful for their presence and impact in our lives. Consequently, it’s important that we can forgive and love all who pass into our world, and also that we’re able to pardon ourselves – if not least, to ensure that toxic energetic residues resulting from unprocessed emotions are eliminated from our subtle and physical bodies. In my experience, this is oftentimes easier said than done. Sometimes it happens that I think I’ve done the forgiving and it’s finally done and dusted and I can move on with positivity, when suddenly my “emotional pain body” is awakened and I find myself face-to-face with old memories and feelings of regret, remorse, anger or disappointment – all eager to envelope me. What is there to do in such circumstances? Well, firstly, I try to be gentle on myself. Emotional echoes can be very enduring. I consider them to be like astral shells, which are empty inside but not yet fully disintegrated and, as such, still cause ripples at an energetic level, including within my own etheric energy field. Moreover, non-attachment is an important tool to use when faced with such astral echoes. I distinguish non-attachment from repression. I recommend the former, not the latter. Tantra teaches that: “It is absolutely important to acquire the supreme virtue of non-attachment in order to be able to forgive.”
Inversely, I must acknowledge that there are some mistakes I’ve made in my life the consequences of which I can never change, the hurt I caused that I can never take back, the misunderstanding I can never put right. Notwithstanding this reality, it’s important that I find a way to forgive myself – without in any way justifying what I’ve done. The simple act of recognising that my behaviour was inadequate, unjust – or worst – led to the suffering (emotional, mental or physical) of another living being, is an important first step. In line with taoist and tantric philosophies that promote the concept that we’re all energetically part of one living entity, it follows that nothing can ever be totally destroyed; it can only be transmuted or transformed. Moreover, if as a result of my past behaviour I can act in a better way today, then I can also consider the person, animal, etc. that I harmed to be my teacher and, therefore, I can feel gratitude for his/her sacrifice, through which I’ve been able to learn an important life lesson.
Excerpt from “She Who Is Unto Herself”
 Bhattacharya, B. (1988) The World of Tantra. Munshiram Manoharlal Publishers Pvt. Ltd: New Delhi, pp.443-444.