An authentic sacred sexual exchange is only possible if there’s openness, mutual respect and a spiritual intention between lovers. “By maintaining a clear realisation of emptiness in the midst of passion, it becomes possible to turn that passion into supreme bliss.” In Tantra, the male and female bodies are considered divine, and the female yoni and male lingam are sacred – and not solely erogenous – organs. It follows that erotic visualisations, words, etc. though perhaps the easiest way to get the sexual fire burning, don’t constitute the most appropriate focus to hold in a sacred sex context, where the immediate goal is not orgasm, but rather an energetic exchange at a much subtler and more spiritual level than the purely physical.
Recognising the divinity within yourself and your sexual partner leads to a more pronounced attitude of mutual respect and unconditional love, including love for yourself. Moreover, the physical focus in a sexual exchange shifts so that the whole body is targeted – rather than solely the sex organs. The energetic nature of the sex act becomes intrinsically important because our divinity is primarily an energetic reality, and only secondarily a physical one. As such, any stimulation of the genitals is no longer conducted with the aim of producing a localised orgasm, but rather is done to awaken the sexual energy, which is then encouraged to spread throughout the physical body with a view to activating the inner, subtle energy network. This etheric circuitry is conceptualised as the chakras (energy centres) and nadis (currents of vital energy) in Tantra, and the meridians (energy pathways), including the microcosmic orbit, in Taoism. The resultant heightened vibration in the lovers’ subtle energy network has the potential to intensely activate the bridge between their physical bodies and their divine (transrational) selves.
Sally Kempton writes: “The sexual ecstasy of Tantra can only be cultivated by yogis who have perfected a state of thought-free, meditative attentiveness, without lust or ordinary grasping attachment.” It’s precisely for this reason that (left-hand) Tantra is a spiritual path and not solely a sexual practice.
Excerpt from “Looking for Tantra – living the tantric dream”
 Pauli, M. (2002) Sex with Spirit. Red Wheel/Weiser: York Beach, ME, p.14
 Feuerstein, G. (1998) Tantra: the Path to Ecstasy. Shamballa Publications: Boston & London, p.160.
 Kempton, S. (2013) Awakening Shakti. Sounds True: Boulder, CO, p167.