Basic Principles behind Sacred Sex

An authentic sacred sexual exchange is only possible if there’s openness, mutual respect and a spiritual intention between lovers. “By maintaining a clear realisation of emptiness in the midst of passion, it becomes possible to turn that passion into supreme bliss.”[1] In Tantra, the male and female bodies are considered divine, and the female yoni and male lingam are sacred – and not solely erogenous – organs. It follows that erotic visualisations, words, etc. though perhaps the easiest way to get the sexual fire burning, don’t constitute the most appropriate focus to hold in a sacred sex context, where the immediate goal is not orgasm, but rather an energetic exchange at a much subtler and more spiritual level than the purely physical.

Recognising the divinity within yourself and your sexual partner leads to a more pronounced attitude of mutual respect and unconditional love, including love for yourself. Moreover, the physical focus in a sexual exchange shifts so that the whole body is targeted – rather than solely the sex organs. The energetic nature of the sex act becomes intrinsically important because our divinity is primarily an energetic reality, and only secondarily a physical one. As such, any stimulation of the genitals is no longer conducted with the aim of producing a localised orgasm, but rather is done to awaken the sexual energy, which is then encouraged to spread throughout the physical body with a view to activating the inner, subtle energy network. This etheric circuitry is conceptualised as the chakras (energy centres) and nadis (currents of vital energy[2]) in Tantra, and the meridians (energy pathways), including the microcosmic orbit, in Taoism. The resultant heightened vibration in the lovers’ subtle energy network has the potential to intensely activate the bridge between their physical bodies and their divine (transrational) selves.

Sally Kempton writes: “The sexual ecstasy of Tantra can only be cultivated by yogis who have perfected a state of thought-free, meditative attentiveness, without lust or ordinary grasping attachment.”[3] It’s precisely for this reason that (left-hand) Tantra is a spiritual path and not solely a sexual practice.

Excerpt from “Looking for Tantra – living the tantric dream”


[1] Pauli, M. (2002) Sex with Spirit. Red Wheel/Weiser: York Beach, ME, p.14

[2] Feuerstein, G. (1998) Tantra: the Path to Ecstasy. Shamballa Publications: Boston & London, p.160.

[3] Kempton, S. (2013) Awakening Shakti. Sounds True: Boulder, CO, p167.

8 thoughts on “Basic Principles behind Sacred Sex

  1. Your words are compelling as usual, Sam. Such openness is so rare, though. I think if I had one relationship (of those I have had), that was composed of even 50% of what you suggest, that relationship would likely still exist. The presumption, of course, is that there would be a mindfull effort within the relationship to magnify the energetics (both emotional and physical). How common is that?

    Enjoy the week, Sam ❤ 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Rob. Always a joy to hear from you 🙂 Yes, what I am suggesting is not easy to attain. In fact, many people are not in the least interested in the energetic and spiritual nature of sex. Moreover, I will say something that is counter to social norms and for which I might be boo-ed 😉 The principles I propose might be easier to adhere to in a context that is outside a formal relationship – although transparency should always be present. Relationships are often the playing ground of (power) imbalances between 2 persons, who are endeavouring to steer their way through the thick and thins of life. As such, this is not always an easy context in which to practise the spiritual path of sacred sexuality. I believe for this reason some traditional tantric (left-hand) paths occasionally practised a sexual ceremony called the chakra pûjâ, in which only advanced spiritual initiates were allowed to participate. The sacred nature of the chakra pûjâ was set as an intention before the start of the ceremony. The ritual was performed in a group and combined a number of transgressive elements, including sexual exchange with a previously unknown partner. Hoping you are not too shocked by my perspectives 😉 Joyful greetings, Sam 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • I am reasonably certain that the experiences over the course of my life have rendered me “unshockable.” However, my dry wit remains perfectly intact. Certainly, as we journey along the path, there is always the potential for diverse encounters.

        Thank you, Sam 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Maria, I have heard from a number of people that once they see and experience the sacredness of the sex act they are no longer interested or willing to have sex “a la mainstream”. And it goes without saying that the persons who are open to the energetic, spiritual nature of sex and sexuality are in the minority (in the West at least), so although you say you are “picky”, I would add that there are perhaps not many people of like-mind to pick from 😉 With joy and blessings, Sam 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s